When High Performers Start to Pull Away

Not all disengagement looks like underperformance. Sometimes it looks like excellence:

• Deadlines met.

• Goals achieved.

• Work completed.

But something shifts. Tone changes. Energy dips. Patience thins. You can feel it in the change of approach or shifts in communication.

I’ve seen it more than once — I've been this person (more than once). I'm sure you have too. We know how it feels to be the high performer who quietly starts to disconnect.

The assumption is often: “They’re fine. They’re strong", but high performers burn out differently.

They internalize pressure.

They raise their own standards.

They rarely complain.

Head down, they carry the work - sometimes more than their share - and keep going.

And when they finally pull away, it’s not sudden. It’s cumulative. If leaders aren’t paying attention, we miss it. Often, we’re focused on the bottom 10% we’re trying to fix — and not enough on the top 10% who are carrying the load. The ones we should be supporting, not just relying on.

What it looks like

It's subtle, it's not missed deadlines or even less quality work. It looks more like shorter, more curt responses, less initiative or collaboration. A shift from ownership to obligation.

They're still performing, they're just not connected to the work.

What do you do when you notice it?

Don't wait for it to become a problem, address it while it's still quiet. Leadership requires noticing the subtle shifts. It's not just about "are they performing" but also “how are they experiencing the work?”

Remember, it's the straw that broke the camels back. Small moments can go a long way.

• “I see how much you’re carrying.”

• “Where do you need support?”

• “What’s feeling heavy right now?”

These moments show you care and you're seeing the effort put in. High performers don’t need constant praise but they need sustainable expectations and good leadership to stay engaged. Sometimes they need permission to not be the most capable person in every room.

Adjust where yon can - rebalance workload, clarify priorities so everything doesn't feel urgent, remove unnecessary noise or work, and give them space to step back without penalty.

If someone on your team is consistently exceeding expectations — check in. Performance without connection eventually erodes and as we all know, burnout doesn’t discriminate by talent. Create sustainability.

Preventing the pull away

When high performers burnout, it's rarely about capability. In fact, they like a challenge - keep the brain engaged. It's often times about unmanaged expectations over time. It's easy to give the person who can do it all, well all the work. Prevention looks like:

• Not always giving the most to most capable

  • Delegating evenly amongst a team is an opportunity to grow individuals, learn strengths, and allow people to shine where they're strong.

• Recognizing effort before it turns into exhaustion.

• Creating space for high performers to say "no" without guilt

• Checking in before there's a visible issue.

If your top performers feel like they always have to carry the weight eventually they stop wanting to.

Think about the team members you can check in on this week and possibly even help lighten their load.

☕ One of the best things we can do as leaders is to lead with awareness. Not just metrics.